Skip to main content

A Conversation about Babies

(Picture from here.)

I think everyone I know has just had a baby, is going to have a baby, or wants to have a baby! Is there something wrong with me? I want children, with my whole heart. I really look forward to being a mom someday and more and more I hope to be able to stay home with my children. The thing is, I can wait right now. I don’t have baby fever. I feel too young. I’m only 25 – how could I possibly know how to care for a child yet; I can barely take care of my husband, dog, and me.

I guess what I’m wondering is should that itch be there? Should I be craving to be a mother? Does this mean my maternal instincts are off? I just feel like an older (and hopefully more mature and less selfish) version of me would make a better mother. Plus, the husband isn’t even out of law school yet!

I think about my future children: their looks, personality. In my dreams I love being pregnant (I hope that is true, but the labor part still terrifies me). I know I’ll love sewing little items for my children and creating wonderful nurseries, but all in time.

I know people say you’re never ready, but I disagree. Maybe you are never ready to actually be a parent because it is a tough and sometimes unforgiving job. However, you are ready to not be ready. I have friends and my sister who want to have a baby – see, they are ready. So I pray that someday God shows me that I’m ready to not be ready, and that He blesses us with little bundles of joy.

(P.S. I don’t think you are crazy if you are younger than me and have children. I am going to assume that you are way more put together than I and are an awesome parent!)

Comments

Stori said…
I just had a baby last week and so far it has been the most wonderful experience! All of the fears that I had before she came just melted away once I held her in my arms. I am 26, and I had almost 5 wonderful years with my hubby before she came, so I don't think you're crazy at all. I always tell people to take their time and enjoy their DINK time before they start a family.

Also, don't be afraid of the labor part. I was for 9 months, but it wasn't that bad and certainly worth it! Take this from someone who was in labor for 30 hours, 14 without an epidural before I finally caved, only to have to have a C-section because she was a big girl. Even when we were right in the middle of everything it wasn't bad. People try to scare you, but just remember "I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from my fears."
April 20, 2010 at 10:19 AM
Erin said…
You're not crazy. At all. It's completely normal to question yourself when it seems like babies are popping out all over the place. But just remember, there's no rush! I'm also 25 and although it occasionally seems old and scary, it's also not. 25 is young! Live for yourself first, and THEN (when you're ready) start thinking about expanding your family.

But then again, this is coming from a girl who doesn't even have a boyfriend..so what do I know??
April 21, 2010 at 9:09 AM
The Shabby Princess said…
Ah! So glad I found your new blog--I thought you were gone for good.

I'm the same age as you and must say, I do have the baby fever, but, plenty of my friends who are my age or older, so not. I honestly think it's a personal thing having nothing to do with age. It hits when it hits and that's all there is to it. I think at least. But, to that end, mine also comes in "waves" if that makes sense. Last year I was so caught up in running that the thought of getting pregnant scared me silly!
April 21, 2010 at 9:29 AM
Sarah Louise said…
I feel the exact same way as you! I want to be a mother, but have absolutely no desire to be one at the present time.

I agree with you. I think there is a right time to become a parent...when you want to be one!!! Of course there are a lot of things you can't predict about having a child/being a parent, but I think when a person is ready to take on those unknowns then it's the right time to be a parent.

I personally am just not ready to give up my sleep, and center my life around another human being...I just want a year or two where Jared and I can relax and enjoy a life with as few responsibilities as possible...I know that is selfish, but at least I know that, and that it wouldn't be good to add a child to the mix as long as I feel that way :)
April 27, 2010 at 7:25 AM
Ashleigh said…
How did I miss all of these posts? Are these imported from Sassy Engineer?
Totally okay not to have baby fever yet! I have 2 friends in the same boat - ModernEve and A Lavendar Lily.
July 21, 2010 at 9:11 AM
Mrs. Bennett Has Class said…
There's so much pressure on us, isn't there? We date a guy and people ask when we're going to get married. Then we get married and they ask when are we going to have a baby. And it seems like everyone around us is doing what they're supposed to be doing in life and we wonder if there is something wrong with us because we're not. Just do what you feel is right for you. I never had a "desire" to have babies, but I am so happy I did. :)
December 6, 2012 at 6:21 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Conversation #123: Open to Interpretation

First, I apologize for two posts today.  The other one was supposed to post yesterday.  I wrote it during lunch, but it didn't post properly.  Oh well. So I started reading Kayla's blog during her last wardrobe challenge, and I loved it.  I also loved when she and Amy and Erica started doing this series called Open to Interpretation.  I have no idea why, but I never thought of taking an outfit I saw in a catalog or a magazine and then recreating it or something like it with what I already own.  This has really helped me not only stretch my closet but also push me to try some new fashiony things (without going out to spend a ton of money). Here is the photo inspiration (I just copied it from Kayla's blog): And here is my interpretation: Outfit breakdown: Sweater - Old Navy, $8 Striped Shirt - LOFT (from the event last week), $20 Pink pants - JCPenney, Juniors section (don't tell Stacey and Clinton), $10 Leather Oxfords - J.Jill, $30 Mine is pretty close to j
8 comments
Read more

Conversation #19: A blast from the past – Monday Movie Review

Ever since the hubby and I ended our blockbuster subscription, we have really not watched too many movies.  Honestly, he has been so busy that we just haven’t had the time.  However, my amazing in-laws have been entertaining me during this bar exam review time, and we went to see the Sorcerer’s Apprentice on Saturday.  (Picture from here .) I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.  It was exciting and thrilling, and in my opinion, I’m not sure I would take a really young child to it (maybe 10 and older…)  It kept my attention, and I don’t think that it drug on too long either.  Sometimes I think these epic type movies go on and on and on, but this ended at a nice time, and it had the most adorable bulldog in the cast, too! I definitely recommend it! (Picture from here .) We also recently watched The Paper Chase .  I guess this movie itself is kind of blast from the past – 1973 to be exact.  Our neighbor actually dropped it in our mailbox as a gift.  Have I mentioned that we have
5 comments
Read more