Conversation #149: I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

Y'all have no idea how happy I am to be back.  You know what this means...I took the PE exam!  Now before you all get super giddy and jump up and down with excitement, I have no idea how I did yet.  Results take about 8-10 weeks to come out, but I sure hope I passed.

This exam has taught me so much.  I really realized that God will use anything to draw us near to Him.  He did that so much with me during this exam journey, and I have just loved every second of knowing Him better.  I have found power in the Holy Spirit I never knew before, and I have literally felt God with me.  In fact, when I first started the exam I looked at the first couple of questions and freaked out.  I had prayed while getting ready that morning, but I quickly remembered I hadn't prayed right before starting the exam.  So, while part of me wanted to give up and just put "c" for each answer, I prayed God and the Holy Spirit would be with me, and things turned around. There were even a few questions that I didn't really know how to solve, but I just started trying something and got an answer that was one of the options. I just knew it was the Holy Spirit there with me taking that exam. 

I do not have the gift of Prophecy so I have no idea if I passed or not, but I do know that I relied on God more than ever before through all of this and that He was there with me, so no matter the outcome, it is His will.  Also, just because exam day is over, that doesn't mean that I will just leave God again.  First of all, the enemy is trying hard to get in my head and make me doubt everything (how I felt after the exam, whether God wants me to pass, just fear in general).  I am learning to take those thoughts captive and give them to the Lord because fear does NOT come from the Lord.  I have an app on my phone that gives me a daily Bible verse each day, and one day this week, this is what popped up (the Holy Spirit has been giving me little gifts like this throughout the days):

James 1:13-14

13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted [a]by God”; for God cannot be tempted [b]by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. 14 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. (from BibleGateway.com, NASB)
I also like this version from The Message (also from BibleGateway.com):
13-15Don't let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, "God is trying to trip me up." God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one's way. The temptation to give in to evil comes from us and only us. We have no one to blame but the leering, seducing flare-up of our own lust. Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer.
I mean - WOW!  Here I am being worried and tempted by doubt and fear and I'm trying to remind myself those don't come from God and He gave me those verses.  That temptation and fear comes from my flesh NOT God, and me letting the flesh (which is easily tempted by satan) take a stronghold in life instead of the Holy Spirit.  I am a new creation in God because Jesus already died for my sins, and when I walk with the Spirit, my flesh has no power.  God is goodness and grace and mercy and LOVE.  I love this verse to from 1 John 4:16-18 (NIV, BibleGateway.com)
16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

I am actually sharing my testimony next week with some women at my church.  I am a little nervous, but sort of excited because I feel like this is the first time in my life I can really look back and see all of God's working in my life.  It is pretty amazing.  He is amazing!!!!

1 comment:

Holly said...

awesome! wish i could be there to hear you give your testimony!