A Conversation about Babies

(Picture from here.)

I think everyone I know has just had a baby, is going to have a baby, or wants to have a baby! Is there something wrong with me? I want children, with my whole heart. I really look forward to being a mom someday and more and more I hope to be able to stay home with my children. The thing is, I can wait right now. I don’t have baby fever. I feel too young. I’m only 25 – how could I possibly know how to care for a child yet; I can barely take care of my husband, dog, and me.

I guess what I’m wondering is should that itch be there? Should I be craving to be a mother? Does this mean my maternal instincts are off? I just feel like an older (and hopefully more mature and less selfish) version of me would make a better mother. Plus, the husband isn’t even out of law school yet!

I think about my future children: their looks, personality. In my dreams I love being pregnant (I hope that is true, but the labor part still terrifies me). I know I’ll love sewing little items for my children and creating wonderful nurseries, but all in time.

I know people say you’re never ready, but I disagree. Maybe you are never ready to actually be a parent because it is a tough and sometimes unforgiving job. However, you are ready to not be ready. I have friends and my sister who want to have a baby – see, they are ready. So I pray that someday God shows me that I’m ready to not be ready, and that He blesses us with little bundles of joy.

(P.S. I don’t think you are crazy if you are younger than me and have children. I am going to assume that you are way more put together than I and are an awesome parent!)


Stori said...

I just had a baby last week and so far it has been the most wonderful experience! All of the fears that I had before she came just melted away once I held her in my arms. I am 26, and I had almost 5 wonderful years with my hubby before she came, so I don't think you're crazy at all. I always tell people to take their time and enjoy their DINK time before they start a family.

Also, don't be afraid of the labor part. I was for 9 months, but it wasn't that bad and certainly worth it! Take this from someone who was in labor for 30 hours, 14 without an epidural before I finally caved, only to have to have a C-section because she was a big girl. Even when we were right in the middle of everything it wasn't bad. People try to scare you, but just remember "I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from my fears."

Erin said...

You're not crazy. At all. It's completely normal to question yourself when it seems like babies are popping out all over the place. But just remember, there's no rush! I'm also 25 and although it occasionally seems old and scary, it's also not. 25 is young! Live for yourself first, and THEN (when you're ready) start thinking about expanding your family.

But then again, this is coming from a girl who doesn't even have a boyfriend..so what do I know??

The Shabby Princess said...

Ah! So glad I found your new blog--I thought you were gone for good.

I'm the same age as you and must say, I do have the baby fever, but, plenty of my friends who are my age or older, so not. I honestly think it's a personal thing having nothing to do with age. It hits when it hits and that's all there is to it. I think at least. But, to that end, mine also comes in "waves" if that makes sense. Last year I was so caught up in running that the thought of getting pregnant scared me silly!

Sarah Louise said...

I feel the exact same way as you! I want to be a mother, but have absolutely no desire to be one at the present time.

I agree with you. I think there is a right time to become a parent...when you want to be one!!! Of course there are a lot of things you can't predict about having a child/being a parent, but I think when a person is ready to take on those unknowns then it's the right time to be a parent.

I personally am just not ready to give up my sleep, and center my life around another human being...I just want a year or two where Jared and I can relax and enjoy a life with as few responsibilities as possible...I know that is selfish, but at least I know that, and that it wouldn't be good to add a child to the mix as long as I feel that way :)

Ashleigh said...

How did I miss all of these posts? Are these imported from Sassy Engineer?
Totally okay not to have baby fever yet! I have 2 friends in the same boat - ModernEve and A Lavendar Lily.

Misty said...

There's so much pressure on us, isn't there? We date a guy and people ask when we're going to get married. Then we get married and they ask when are we going to have a baby. And it seems like everyone around us is doing what they're supposed to be doing in life and we wonder if there is something wrong with us because we're not. Just do what you feel is right for you. I never had a "desire" to have babies, but I am so happy I did. :)