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Conversation #6: The Dessert

Have y’all read The Blind Side?  I’m sure most of have you seen the movie, but I don’t recall this particular point I’m going to talk about being a major point in the movie.

The book talked about the Offensive Left Tackle – the one who protects the blind side – about being one of those players that no one remembers or watches when he does his job right. But if he does his job wrong and let’s the quarterback get tackled, well everyone will remember that!

While watching The Next Food Network Star the other evening with my husband, he told me the same sort of the thing about the dessert course.  The competitors on the show had to each make a course of a meal, and those that got dessert seemed really discouraged.  I asked him why because I love to bake so dessert would be my favorite, but he said something similar about dessert as the book said about the left offensive tackle.  He said people don’t remember the dessert as much as another course if it is great, but if you don’t do it right, everyone remembers your mistake because dessert is easy and shouldn’t be messed up.

For some reason, this theme has stuck with me the last few weeks, and I began to think that a lot of things in life seem to fall into this category.  I mean, let’s face it, we aren’t all the quarterback or main course in life are we?  Take my job for example: I’m a traffic engineer (still an E.I.T.).  People don’t generally call us up and say, “Wow, those traffic signals were synchronized today on my way to work – thanks!”  or “I really appreciate the signage you installed to help with the traffic flow around the school.”  It just doesn’t happen.  However, you sit a light longer than you think you should or too many people park on the street, yeah, those people call ALL the time.

This is no slam against my husband.  I know his head is in a crazy place as he studies for the bar exam, but this last week I have kind of felt like the dessert at home.  My husband hasn’t noticed all that I have done around the house to keep things going, but instead picks out the things I haven’t done to ask me about.  In fact, sometimes (maybe today) I have a bad day where I can’t keep my emotions in check and all of the weeks frustrations come out in a poo storm at him.  Not cool.  I know.  However, he proceeds to tell me that if he passes the bar, it is despite me not because of help from me.

That really hurt me, and I think he was saying it out of frustration with my outburst.  It just upset me because most of the things I do around the house, I’m thinking of my husband and what would help him feel relaxed at home after a crazy day or week.  I’m busy too, but I have the time to cook and clean and he doesn’t, so that is okay when we are in this law school world.  I just wish he would realize that I have done a lot and tried to be supportive through all of law school and the bar, and I just wish that one day of my not being able to take it wouldn’t make all of the good forgotten.  I guess today I let the quarterback get sacked. 

If I did it everyday, well that would be different and wrong, but we all have bad days.  Wouldn’t it just be nice if we remembered the good a little more often?  I know I need to be better about that also, so I hope I take time to watch that left offensive tackle protect the quarterback more often while savoring the yummy dessert and the person who made it.  I hope you do too!

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