Skip to main content

Conversation #147: If you want my help, you have to let go

This spiritual awakening God is blessing me with has been a long time coming.  I was spiritually dead for a while, but then the Holy Spirit, in spite of me, started stirring in my soul.  I don’t know why, but boy am I glad.  The stirring is what lead us to a different church, but then it felt like I was always on the brink of something big, but I could never quite breakthrough the barriers I was putting up.  Finally, at our church’s womens’ retreat last April, I sat crying and praying out to God to help me, to show me how to breakthrough and I know I finally am.  It has taken almost all of this last year, and I am still learning daily, but I am hearing the Spirit and knowing God and relying on Him in so many ways.  I feel like that is a lot of what I am writing about lately because He is finally starting to fully be part of all of my life, not just the areas I let Him in the past.

Ironically, the women’s retreat this year starts on the day of the dreaded exam, but I plan to head out the next morning to meet God.  However, I don’t have to wait until then to meet Him.  I just did a little bit ago because I was down and I needed Him.

It is funny, but I seem to have decided to start tackling my fears, my addictions, my barriers all at the same time, but maybe that is because I finally asked the Spirit to come into all of me, therefore into all of my struggles.  I am reading this book called Made to Crave Lysa Terkeurst, and it is mainly about food, but it is really applying to all areas of my life.  One of the the parts I read today talked about food being more important to myself than God – that I am relying on food more than God, and I that I have to see that to stop it.  That struck me today, and it also made me realize that I am relying on a lot of other things before God.  WHOA – red flag!!!!

What am I relying on: food, clothing, friends, and my own abilities.  I rely on food and clothing (shopping) to make me feel better when I am down, to reward me when I do well, and to make me happy.  I have had such sadness and longing for amazing friends to make me not feel lonely (and while that is nice and He is actually giving me so many amazing relationships lately) God is really the only one I should RELY on for relationship.  Lastly, I used to tell myself that as long as I was accepted to sit for the PE exam, I could study hard enough to pass, no problem.  Well, now that I am less than four weeks from the test and have been studying since the end of January, I realize that I am not enough to pass this exam.  My strength has to come from the Lord. 

I am going through a study of Galatians right now with some dear women that I am loving more and more each time I am around them, and today when I felt down with the studying, I turned to my weekly activity to get in the Word and near the Holy Spirit.  Part of the intro I read was about someone hanging off a cliff yelling for help, and a voice from above said, “let go, I’ll help you.”  The person didn’t want to let go, and the voice said, “I will catch you, trust me, but you have to let go.”  I knew that was the Spirit speaking to little old me.  I was feeling so low about the PE exam and so helpless, and He answered, “let go and I will help you.”

Now, I’ll be honest, I am not entirely sure what letting go looks like in this situation, so that was/is my current question with the Lord, but I know He will answer and show me.  I know I have to let go and quit trying to do all of these things on my own, and He will catch me and hold me up and redeem me – He already has so many times before. 

I just wanted to share that today.  I hope you all know that if you need help, He will be there, just let go.


Popular posts from this blog

Conversation #114: Wardrobe Checklist (and retail detox update)

I read something a while back that sort of spurred me into thinking I needed to do this whole retail detox thing.  I'm just going to get it out there - it has been way hard for me and I'm super embarrassed and disappointed by that.  I did well for the first two weeks, and then I got into this buying and returning things habit because I felt bad after buying it.  I told myself that I could still buy things, but only with extra money I earned from ebay.  That worked for a while too, but then I caved to the Lands' End Canvas sale last weekend.  I bought three tees, a skirt, and a cardigan.  I think that all but maybe one tee will be going back and hopefully I can stop this extra shopping. 

Okay, back to the "thing" I read...

It was an article in Real Simple magazine targeted at helping you never buy the wrong thing again.  It has great tips in it, and the wardrobe checklist it includes really brought it all back home to me.  I started going through the checklist an…

Conversation #205: About Me


I have no idea how often I will escape to this place, but since I recently added this ol' blog address to my Instagram Profile, I thought maybe I should dust her off and welcome any new readers.

I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head CONSTANTLY that maybe this would be a good spot again to release them, and keep me from online shopping too much during my lunch break ;)  I hear a faint AMEN from my husband.

Anyway, the title of my blog may lead people to make snap judgments about me or my beliefs, which is unfortunate, but also the society we live in at the moment.  First, it created a sort of catchy blog name, and I liked it.  And, yes, I am a conservative, but that label has sooooo many different meanings depending on what media outlet you last listened to so I thought maybe I would use this post to re-introduce myself to old friends and share a bit about how I have grown in the last few years.

I am Christian, Jesus Follower, Believer, Daughter of the King - w…

Conversation #203: So I married my mom

I don't know if people say this to men, but I heard a lot while growing up that girls tend to marry someone like their dad (I guess good, bad, or ugly).  I don't know how true that really is, but relatively early on in our marriage, my husband and I realized I married my mom.

This doesn't mean my husband is feminine or my mother masculine, but to say that they seem to be the same person.  I am definitely more like my dad personality wise so it probably make sense that I married someone more like my mom.  Now I will say my mom, being an actual woman, generally makes her a bit more empathetic and understanding to the eccentricities of being a woman.  I don't think any man, my husband or otherwise, will ever be able to understand the intricacies of being a woman. However, I also feel like he can talk to my mom, and being that they have both lived with me and seem to speak the same language,  can benefit from her wisdom and knowledge of co-habitating with me and enlighten …