So I said I may be MIA until after April 13th, and I have held pretty true to that! I have been studying (or attempting to, I get distracted very easily) so I haven’t been around to blog or do much of anything. My house – disaster. Laundry – piled high. Kitchen sink – thankfully the hubby keeps up on that!
Anyway, I have had some realizations in just the last week that I wanted to share and jot down for my memory’s sake. First, I realized this last week that I had to surrender this exam to God. I didn’t really know what that meant, but anytime I felt anxious or afraid, I would pray. I would ask that God would take this exam from me and show me how to surrender it to Him. I would also pray that the Holy Spirit would be with me and guide me (I’m not sure if I am supposed to talk to the Holy Spirit or ask God to ask the Holy Spirit – remember, this Holy Spirit relationship is very new to me.) Anyway, I have spent this time time trying to listen to Him and surrender. This exam was becoming an idol (even though I didn’t want it to be) because it was consuming all of me.
My other realization really just happened last night. We are taking a spiritual gift inventory as a church right now, and I finally got around to filling it out. I’m not always sure how well they work, and so many of my categories were scored very closely together. However, the one that was the number one is Faith. This is always ironic to me, and it this is not the first time I have had that be my top spiritual gift. The reason it is ironic is because I feel like I have tons of faith for everyone else and never doubt God in their life. However, when it comes to myself I start to doubt. Well, hearing that faith is my gift again made me stop and go, “hmm, I should start believing and have faith for me!” I felt God speaking to me through that inventory.
Lastly when I look back at my husband’s journey through law, I always feel like it was so easy to me to see God’s hand but I could never see Him the same way in my career path. Well, He revealed to me last night and today that He was there and it is easy to see. First of all, I weirdly entered into Civil Engineering. I was watching Father of the Bride 2 (one of my favorite movies) and this particular time it hit me that Annie was an architect and I thought that sounded fun. However, my college didn’t have a huge architecture department so I looked for something similar and ended up in Civil Engineering – how random is that? Well, it isn’t when God is in charge!
Then, I had to take a previous exam 4 years ago to begin the path of professional licensure, and I was sure I failed that exam when I walked out. Hardest test I have ever taken, but I passed. I don’t even know how because I was still in school trying to prepare for finals and such. It was a crazy time, and God was faithful.
Next, I had always thought working for a city would be fun and right up my alley, but I quickly learned that getting a city job was pretty difficult (why that is will be a story for another day). Well, one day, one of my professors knew a guy at a city and recommended me for the job and I got it! Plus, they had to do a weird work around for me since I was 3 months out from graduating and they did. God was faithful again!
Lastly, I wasn’t sure if I would even be able to take this PE exam this April. See, you have to submit a record of everything you have worked on for the last four years to prove to the engineering board that you have the experience to sit for this exam. I applied as soon as was physically possible (which still was tight with the timing deadline) and worried that my experience wasn’t enough. I kept thinking if I could just get approved to take the exam, I know I can study hard enough to pass. Well, I was so happy when I found out I was accepted to sit for the exam, and now I realize that God was faithful again! I don’t know how all those things lined up for it to work out, but actually I guess I do – it was/is God.
So, I’m just under two weeks away from this exam, and now I think I feel more of a peace because I realize God has been in this from the beginning and He has been so faithful along the way. I don’t know for sure the outcome of this exam because I don’t have the gift of Prophecy, but I do have FAITH and God is faithful!!!